Virginia is for lovers

Editor’s note: This is a guest post by long time reader Lenore Ghatz, who sent me her chemistry.com profile for proof reading and guttural sounds.

Me with my son, Tanya.

About Me:

I was raised by Polish immigrants after I was found in a tool shed. Later I was traded to some nuns for 7 apples and a mule. I’m recently divorced and emotionally detached from this life. Most nights I sit at home and look out the window while I work on digesting my tongue. I’m interested in meeting someone who was probably my child in a past life. I don’t like riding horses, but I like to lay in hay and eat carrots. The man of my dreams would have the thought processes of a computer, but the emotions of a dolphin/man. I love dolphins, but not sharks. I have a rabbit, but it is a wild rabbit and lives outdoors, but I clean up its feces in my yard.

Favorite Movies

I’m into romantic comedies, like titanic or harry potter, but I think anything starring Daniel Day Lewis is probably my favorite.  If you’ve ever seen him in Dances with Wolves you’ll know what I’m talking about. He plays a great native american and those people are stoic, which is the number one word my co-workers use to describe me. Vague is the second. I am a construction worker part-time and manicurist part-time.

Favorite Music

Lately, I don’t really listen to music, but I do like slam poetry and the voice of urban youth.  The last slam I went was peaceful and did not get out of hand, but I have been threatened. LOL. I also enjoy some christian rock and death metal.

Sometimes I think Kenny Chesney is speaking directly to me in his songs and that no one else hears the way I do. I would marry him and we could both wear ripped jeans and white tee shirts and have children with missing teeth and poor literacy skills.

Location

I need someone who lives close to an emergency center, as the weight and girth of my left leg tends to leave me with the balance of a wounded elephant. One time I put my left through a case of lite mountain dew and the caffeine got into my blood stream through a wound and the people next door came over and called the cops after I rearranged my furniture and was reciting Golden Girls lines as Bee Arthur.  I was forced to buy new carpeting on account of the blood stains and aluminum pieces.

It would also be nice to live near a Costco,  since I wear  a new pair of socks everyday.

Best Vacation

I have been saving up to go to St. Petersburg, Florida for  seven months. I now have $38 and the bus fare is $158, so I will plan to go in the coming year. The best thing about Florida is there is ocean on both side and I can walk to either side of Florida, since I have been told it is the skinniest state and I think a librarian told me, so they probably know. The other thing about Florida is the wildlife. I look forward to seeing alligators, snakes, birds and roadkill like cats.

Reoccurring Dream

I always dream that I am an auto mechanic with no fingers, so I have to use my mouth to fix things. Most times I just check the oil, but once in my dream I had to change a tire. I woke up gnawing the post of my bunk bed. LOL.

Here is some of my poetry:

Youtube
by Lenore

Youtube is cool.
I watch on my computer.
Where did all these Asian people come from?

Couch
By Lenore

I eat on my couch.
I sleep on my couch.
I am alone.
Seeking love seat or sectional.

Fair
By Lenore

I went to the fair to purchase thread from a booth.
The line was long.
Everyone in line was single.
No one speaks.

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