Man, my new obsession on HBO is True Blood – the story of white trash vampires and other weird s#!t that goes on in Louisiana or wherever the south is. Aside from Anna Paquin, who acts like a southern Sarah Jessica Parker with downs syndrome, the cast is pretty good.
I think I like it so much because it mirrors my life in so many ways.
1) people are always trying to get me to donate blood – probably because I lied about not having sexy diseases, like hoof in mouth. plus my motto has always been b positive. nuck nuck nuck.
2) my grandpa and step grandma live in South Carolina so that makes me southern. what makes me white trash is my affinity for overalls, drinking and dirty language.
3) some people I know have found Jesus (or as Hispanic say Jesus), but some havent and the ones that have think those that havent are shit and work for the devil in some way. a lot like vampires who are hated because of the color of their skin and length or teeth.
4) i kind of like to suck on my wounds when I get cut or after intravenous needling (not for drugs *wink*)
5) i never really cared that princess diana died. now that doesnt make me a vampire, but I’m probably going to hell or will probably get famous and die in a freak accident and everyone will blame the paparazzi, but from the grave i’ll be like “the…kgb…the driver was kgb”. but no one will hear me.
Anyways, it’s crazy similar.
Question of the day: corn kernels can appear in a person’s stool and if eaten for all meals for three day can produce a yellow turd, but do peas act the same way?
peas out, ya’ll.
song for this post: “Monster Mash” by unknown (maybe the adams family or insane clown posse)
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